It's 3am. Took a too-long nap, and now I can't sleep.
And I've been hit by a frightening realization.
If the 1994 version of me could see me now, he would kill me. Not in a figurative, "uhoh, I'm in trouble" sense. In a "he's going to kill me with the closest sharp object he can find" sense.
I was going to have books written by now. Comics published. Bills paid.
I was going to have a keen sense of humor. And biting cynicism. And marked brilliance.
I think my mid-life crisis is starting early. Please note, this isn't "I need to be driving a Ferrarri to feel better" vibeage.
This is, "My brain was a lot more useful than this" vibeage.
I think my younger self would be okay with some things. My family would get a big thumbs-up. My addiction to information would probably impress him too. I'm older and a bit wiser.
What would he not be okay with:
My willingness to let work life sap my creativity.
My compliance with brain-killing entertainment.
My long periods of couch potato behavior.
My lack of financial discipline.
My inability to finish anything of lasting value.
Yeah, he'd kill me.
This is why you don't stay up until 3am.
Going to bed, hoping I wake up in the morning.
Monday, January 30, 2006
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2 comments:
I don't even need it to be 3 a.m. for that guy to show up.
Baby steps to make the changes. That's the best way for me anyway. Pick one thing, start the process.
Do it a little, make it a habit. Same with the "bad" habits: one less soda a day = no soda.
Except today, as I love soda. Just like Machine Man and beer in NextWave, I needed soda to power my brain through December.
Yeah, like that Harlan Ellison short story, where the narrator goes back in time to tell his younger self to beat the crap out of that bully.
Or it may a crappy Bruce Willis movie.
Or... It may have been both.
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