I'm in the mood for a movie. In space. With monsters.
I think I need to rent Forbidden Planet.
In other news, I think I need to take up pyromania. I've discovered that I own ten million things, and they are all piled up in cardboard boxes in my new place. Things I couldn't possibly need. How could I need them? They're in boxes. If I needed them, I'd be looking for them.
I'm not looking for anything.
I nearly killed myself moving this past weekend. I'm discovering that not only do I own things I don't want, in some cases I own two or three of the same unneeded thing. It's like they're replicating.
Allow me to explain. Physical items have mass. When you have ten million physical items, even extremely small items, they weigh enough to kill a human male in his late twenties.
Things not only have weight (which, I must remind you, can kill you), but they have spacial dimensions, such as height, width, and depth. These are limiting factors. If you don't have room for ten million items, you're in trouble.
So now the only item I wish I had (but don't) is a flamethrower.
I will not deceive you. I was (am?) a Dungeons and Dragons nerd.
I loved playing a monk in DnD. Being a kung fu master was cool, but that wasn't what appealed to me. It was the SIMPLICITY. Monks don't carry weapons. They don't wear armor. They don't need money. They just beat the crap out of stuff.
I'd find myself rolling up monks, just so I wouldn't have to deal with recording all that annoying equipment on my character sheet.
So in summary, I'm so lazy, I don't even want to own things.
Hey.
Have a good week.
4 comments:
My wife convinced my I will never play D&D again. Well, she convinced me only because I hadn't used the books since we got married. It was one of the travesties of life.
You're not fooling anyone.
Least of all me. I can hear your dice bag rattling from here.
Maybe you could have rounded up the next generation of D&D kids and had THEM move YOU. You coulda paid them in Oreos and root beer.
Your nerd army would be unstoppable: sugared up and all buff from moving heavy things...
See, that's the problem with geeks today. They're not playing Dnd or reading comics.
In fact, I'm a little hazy on what nerd-dom consists of for today's adolescents. I guess scifi still counts. Yu-Gi-Oh's in there somewhere. Heroclix? Xbox? I dunno.
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