Best Question I've Ever Gotten.

"When you lived in Mexico, did you know any Mexican wrestlers?"

No.

No, I did not.

I did know:
- A lady whose kids were kidnapped by drug farmers. She singlehandedly went into the mountains and rescued them.

- A lady whose husband was a drug lord that was killed by 36 rounds from an AK47. She lived in a fortress that could only be opened from the inside. She never left it.

- A guy whose job was to mop up crime scenes, who never smiled.

- An ex-army guy with bullets lodged in his arm, leg, and forehead, from fighting narcos.

- A blind watch-repairmen who was told by a priest that staring at the sun would help him see God. He did, and went blind. Still hasn't seen God.

- Several hookers and their pimps.

- A guy who went near-blind from drinking rubbing alcohol/orange juice cocktails, and would beg me to help him when I walked past every day.

- A kid who had sniffed glue for so long he was no longer capable of speech. We called him "Sticky." His family bought him the glue.

- A group of transvestites that called me "Handsome" and wanted me to "come over here for a minute." I didn't.

- A group of college girls that called me "Handsome" and wanted me to "come over here for a minute." I did.

- A couple who drugged their one-year-old daughter to keep her quiet when they jumped the border.

- Two neighbors that quit lifelong alchohol abuse and got their lives together.

- A schizophrenic young newlywed that I had to drug in jail in order to get him to the hospital, where he later jumped out the window and broke both of his legs. This earned him the nickname "Superman."

- A teenage boy who had had his entire memory erased when he was 12.

- A handful of 8-year-old bus drivers.

- A pizza girl who learned to speak English solely by watching American commercials.

- A guy who lost everything he owned on a coin toss. He lived in a cardboard shack.

- A sweet couple whose kids possessed superhuman intelligence. Their nine-year-old daughter was a concert pianist.

- A very friendly Freemason who pulled me off the street and fed me for no reason at all.

- Two sisters who made the most delicious chocolate/caramel flan in the entire freaking universe. They kept trying to fatten me up.

- A guy that looked, acted, and talked like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now, only Spanish-speaking.

- A practitioner of Black Magic.

- Lots of amazing, beautiful, wonderful people.


No Mexican wrestlers.