Wondercon 2007: Part 2: Let's Offend Everyone!

At roughly noon, I made my way into the main hall.

The main hall was fairly disorienting, as there are countless booths, hordes of costumed folk, and the map in the program is useless. I immediately tried to work my way towards the Artists Alley, consciously avoiding physical contact and not succeeding at all. Crowd anxiety started sinking in at this point.
I started down the autograph aisles, and quickly realized that I was entirely unprepared for this con. I had no game plan. I'm a computer guy. I work in procedures. I found myself standing by Matt Wagner's booth, suddenly aware that I was not psychically geared up to talk to strangers. I didn't have my "Retard-proof Script" that I could run if I found myself speaking incoherently and quickly excuse myself.
I ran away.
I wandered down each aisle, avoiding eye contact. Several folks tried to catch my attention and were very cordial, but I ignored them. A model-lady pressed some promotional materials into my hand, cheerfully telling me, "Don't worry, I don't bite!" I mumbled something and wandered away.
Finally, I snapped myself out of my near-fugue state. I got a hold of myself and decided to hunt down the DC booth. I didn't find it, but I did come across the Image Comics booth. Finally, familiar territory. I checked out the booth, looking over the books, hoping to recognize someone.

I did.

It was Rick Remender, Brian Posehn, and some other guy (Gerry Duggan). They were promoting their apocalyptic Santa story, "The Last Christmas."

I enthusiastically greeted Remender, got him to sign my Fear Agent comics, and made some noises about The Engine. I acknowledged Posehn's presence, and completely ignored Duggan. I think Brian was a bit surprised that I was ignoring the TV celebrity guy and chatting up the unknown penciler/writer guy, so I asked to purchase a copy of their trade paperback. The three of them kindly signed it. Brian made fun of how I spell my name, while Gerry was silent. I barely looked at him. He was very cool about it, but also seemed a bit aloof.

I thanked them, walked a short distance, and realized I had been a total jerk. It was one of many lessons I would learn that day.

When dealing with strangers, I still manage to offend people no matter how polite I strive to be.

I officially apologize now for not knowing who the heck he was. I bought his book, I hope that makes up for the affront. Next time I see Gerry Duggan, I'm totally going to act like his biggest fan and pretend that "The Last Christmas" is the only comic I've ever read.

I hope that doesn't offend him.