Bob Barker Says: Spay or Neuter Your Pets

Now I remember what I wanted to write about. I got the We3 trade paperback this week.

Strangely enough, this was the first Grant Morrison project I've ever knowingly read. My hardcore factor just smashed through the floor, headed directly towards the Earth's chewy molten center. I just haven't had the opportunity until now.

We3 depicts a dog, a kittycat, and a bunny rabbit who have been cybernetically enhanced by a defense contractor. The animals (or "aminals" as I will refer to them from here on out) are strays that were probably dog/cat/bunny-napped from their loving owners. They are domesticated. They're also trained to kill people and blow things up, which makes lot of sense to a defense contractor. They're also trained to speak, which makes less sense.

The aminals break free when they discover they're scheduled to be euthanized. The rest of the book details their escape and quest to head "Home." It's refreshing fare. No spandex anywhere. It's like a Disney animal movie gone awry: Fuzzy lovin' and heavy machine guns. Old Yeller vs. Terminator.

I liked it. However, there are weaknesses.

First, the panel layouts are fairly jumbled and confusing. Frank Quitely's layouts are given an 'A' for effort, because you know he was fighting for a fresh approach to the pacing, but my eye had trouble following the action, particularly in the fight scenes. This is particularly problematic because this is a comic book. If this were a poorly edited kung fu movie, some jolting sequences might make sense, but if a static page of artwork looks jumbled, its because it's jumbled. Fairly unforgivable in my idiotic opinion. Just didn't like it.

Second. The story was three issues. Which made for a very short story. The plot felt rushed. The first issue deals with the introduction to the characters and their escape. The second relates the escape. The third shows the conclusion and aftermath. The structure itself is fine, but it didn't provide enough time for me to change gears wildly and really inhabit the brain of a four-legged mammal. It felt like a missed opportunity to really dig in and see the unconditional love of domesticated animals juxtaposed with the programming of an unrestrained killing machine.

The good stuff. The art is excellent with clean lines, beautiful colors. The book just looks good, previous complaints aside. The design choices were really interesting, especially the construction of the creatures, which look like squat tank-like Macintosh peripherals. I think the sleek, pointy-stuff-all-over look has been done to death, and these animals just look, um, user-friendly.

And it's just a really good story. I cared about three scared little animals that kill people. I wasn't bogged down by pretentious metaphors or overtly preachy observations on the human condition. It is what it is. It's like an 80's action film.

Finally, bonus points for a really great original idea.

Note for the kiddies, the book is a mature readers title due to scenes of intense violence and gore. Which will only make you want to check it out even more.

Nos vemos.