If there's anything that will seal the fates of us "Ugly Americans", it's our lack of appreciation for the Soccer (FOOTBALL!) World Cup.
Think of it this way: Soccer is the only thing the entire rest of the world agrees on.
"Americans" (United Statists, as my Mexican friends are quick to clarify) disagree.
If the nations of the world get their act together and realize that Americans really are just super-rich moron space aliens with televisions and awful food, our political, military, and economic reign of terror is done for.
What if every other nation got together at a UN conference and just said, "Hey, we ALL really like football. Let's make this work."? Then every head would turn to the US diplomats, nervously tugging at their collars in the corner. Then they'd send them packing, screaming "GOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLL" the whole way.
I'm not a big soccer fan myself. I don't actively seek games out. I do enjoy watching a match every so often. And you don't want to watch me play.
But I can appreciate it. And I can also recognize that it's a World Religion that demands some respect.
I'm just saying. If we were soccer fans, the world would hate us just a little bit less.
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Given the packed cafeteria at work, with the cup games playing all day, you'd never know the world cup wasn't popular here.
Oh yeah. . . I work for a German company! That's why we get freshly baked pretzels when the German team wins.
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